Knocking…

The madness of the human mind can be so empowering, it swallows all optimism and drags the person into this almost catatonic, paranoid state of mind.

I woken up this morning feeling somewhat tired yet optimistic and more confident about my life, and how things should be. It’s been a slow process, a painful one, especially when trust is required to move on from painful memories.

I’m almost 32 years old, and yet, I don’t know who I am. I haven’t discovered the real me, I am too afraid to show the talents, perceptions, philosophies, etc…I have been trapped into this cage of confusion for so long that my abilities to introspection are turning into my worst enemy.

Emotions are stronger than ever, maturity tries to pave a way a path in order to control these feelings of insecurity.

I have to work on myself, I have to dig once again all those demons that haunt me every day, the destructive thought of not being loved, or being cheated on.

Love is knocking me on my door again. would I be able to open a new door and close the old rotten one, once and for all?

PTSD flashbacks run through my mind, tiny bits of mania and a lot anger. This melodramatic feeling of insecurity is getting the best of me. Light is coming, I feel it, I believe it. Today I make the decision to turn my life around and be the person I always wanted to be: Bipolar/PTSD/Anxiety survivor enjoying every day rather than crying for the night to come.


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